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British expats in Bali have been wagging their tails about this Petitenget delight since its doors swung open in 2009. The rest of us, however, seem to be foolishly lagging behind.

Home to a grand piano, a Sunday roast, and high tea, Jemme has faultlessly accomplished the charm and elegance of English traditions, leaving the outside world of frangipanis and flip-flops behind. The setting of purple velvet, chandeliers, and well-polished silverware are enough to leave you believing you deserve the half a million dollars worth of bling sitting on just one shelf of the Jemme Jewellery store.

The high tea, held every Saturday from 2pm-6pm, invites guests to air kiss and “darling” their way through freshly baked raisin scones with homemade strawberry jam and homemade Devonshire clotted cream; mini lemon tarts, chocolate puddings and shortbread biscuits; and numerous triangle-cut sandwiches (coronation chicken and prawn cocktail with marie rose sauce being amongst the best). The afternoon tea will set you back a petty 95,000 IDR, or you can spruce things up with a glass of bubbles by Kir Royal or Bellini for 150,000 IDR. Plebeian prices, darling!

The traditional roast sees Jemme filling up on Wednesday and Sunday, when it’s available all day and night. The full farm selection includes beef with Yorkshire puddings and horseradish sauce; lamb with mint sauce; chicken with bread sauce; pork with crackling and applesauce; and for the vegos amongst us there’s a moist and crunchy roast nut. All come served with roast potatoes, creamy cauliflower cheese, green peas, baby carrots, green beans and almonds.

Sorry British expat community, the rest of us are coming to join you at Jemme.

Website: jemmebali.com
Address: Jalan Petitenget No. 28, Seminyak, Kuta, Badung, Bali 80361
Phone number: +62 361 4732392